Man seeks fatherhood, struggles to find partner in Tampere

"Ask women where to find them," Tamperelainen reports that 40-year-old Jari wants to become a father but cannot find a suitable partner in Tampere

Jari, 40, has spent years trying to meet someone who shares his wish for children, trying bars, gyms, museums, exhibitions, cafés, and arts events without success. He says the search has been difficult and emotionally exhausting, and notes that many men in a similar situation face the same challenge of finding a willing partner in everyday life. The piece also highlights that men who want children often lack a clear route to parenthood beyond romantic relationships, and that women who want children may pursue donor-based options while men do not.

Simpukka, a childless association, confirms the story is familiar and painful, citing data from Väestöliitto’s Family Barometer 2023 that more than one in five women and almost one third of men have not had a child. Huhtala, a donor-cell specialist at Simpukka, says the trend creates unequal pressures for men and women to become parents. The association also points to possible paths like parenting partnerships, where two adults share parenting without a romantic tie, and notes that some women may pursue donor-egg therapies while men may not have an equivalent option. Simpukka runs a private men’s peer group on Facebook and provides resources such as the guidebook Invisible Sorrow – Man and Involuntary Childlessness.